Grief is a natural response to the death of someone you love. You can feel grief and loss from diagnosis and across the caring and illness journey.
As the reality of death gets closer, the dying person and their family can go through a very stressful, intense, and complex process of coping and grieving. It is common to feel many different emotions such as sadness, anger, guilt, anxiety, loneliness, helplessness, numbness, and shock.
Even though a death is expected, it does not mean that you will not grieve. The actual loss felt after the death can be quite profound. You may be physically exhausted from the time you have spent caring and worrying. You may think about the physical changes and sadness that the dying person went through. You may reflect on the care the person received and think about what else you could have done. You might worry about the effect of the death on your children or your family.
Everyone has their own experience of grief. What you feel may be different to others and it may not be how others describe it. There is no ‘correct’ way to grieve, and no way to ‘fix it’. However, allowing yourself time to grieve, taking practical care of yourself, and seeking support from family and friends can help you as you grieve.
GriefLink provides information for people who are dealing with grief caused by the death of someone close to them, and for those who are supporting them. Griefline provides free grief support includes phone support and online forums.
Helpful resource – Grief Australia: My Grief App
This phone app provides support to grieving people and to those who support them.
Grief is a normal reaction to a death. However, for some people, grief and an intense yearning for the person doesn’t stop. This complicated grief is associated with more prolonged distress and disability. Around 10% of people are believed to suffer from grief that doesn’t stop.
Some indications that the normal grieving process has been derailed, and that complicated grief may be present include:
If grief is continuing to severely disrupt your life talk to your GP or to someone from your health care team. Health care providers can suggest self-management strategies that you can use. They may also suggest counselling or a mental health plan to help you manage your grief.
Helpful resource – SA Health: For the bereaved
This resource helps you understand grief and support resources.
Not everyone is comfortable in talking about death and grief. Many people have not had any direct experience in caring for someone who is seriously ill or in supporting someone who is grieving after a death. They may think it is easier to not talk about the person who has died. They may not understand your emotions and feelings. They may be trying to cheer you up and stop you feeling sad.
This can make it very hard for you.
Don’t be afraid to reach out to people. Don’t be upset if they haven’t contacted you. They probably just don’t know what to say. You may need to tell them that you are finding it hard and that you value their support. You can explain that being able to talk about your loss helps you and that it is important in helping you feel connected to friends and family.
Helpful resource – Hospice Red River Valley: How to Help a Grieving Friend
Information for friends to help them provide support
Caring and grieving can be an opportunity for families to work together and strengthen family bonds. Encourage them to express their feelings and be involved.
Talk to your children about what is happening helps them to understand why people may be acting differently. You will need to provide brief, simple, and repeated explanations. Reassure them that it is okay to be upset and to talk about it.
Following the death of someone close, you may be worried about how to best support and meet the needs of children. You may already have had some discussion about one of the family getting sick. How you talk to them will depend on their age and stage of development as well their experience of loss. Talking to a five-year-old will be different to talking to a teenager.
When someone dies, you can help your children by trying to keep to a routine while letting them know it’s ok to be sad, but it is also ok to be happy, play and have fun. Let their teachers and other care providers know what has happened so they can support them.
If the death was that of a sibling, The Royal Children’s Hospital Melbourne has information on bereavement.
Helpful resource – Dying2Learn: Books to help kids understand death and grief
These books and resources can be used as starting point when talking to children about death and dying, how to cope with grief, and the importance of remembering loved ones who have died.
Holidays, anniversaries and birthdays can all be reminders that someone you love has died. Watching others celebrate can be painful and you may find it hard to participate in family events.
Recognising that you are feeling grief, having conversations about plans with those close to you, and finding ways to remember your loved one can help you feel better able to cope. You may need to talk to friends about how you are feeling so they can support you.
Families may use the holidays and special occasions to remember the person who has died. You can share stories, play their favourite music, and go through photos together. Some families create a new ritual to honour the person who died. This can be as simple as making or buying a special ornament for the Christmas tree or including their favourite food as part of the meal. You may also share some tears as you remember them.
If you are finding the holidays difficult, think about the events where you will feel comfortable and supported and only choose to attend those. It’s ok to let people know that you don’t feel ready to participate in some events.
Helpful resource – Grief Australia: Grief, anniversaries and special events
This sheet is designed to provide ideas and strategies to assist you to support yourself, or someone who is grieving, during the holidays.
Holidays, anniversaries and birthdays can be painful reminders of someone you love. Watching others celebrate may feel overwhelming, and joining family events can feel difficult. If you or someone you know is grieving, free support is available statewide through the Statewide Navigation Service. Call 1-800-725-548 (PALLI8), Monday to Friday from 08:30 am to 04:00 pm
How we help
Bereavement Navigators provide practical and compassionate support tailored to your needs. They can:
What people say
“I felt relieved knowing she understood my grief and could connect me with the right support. Her guidance is helping me work through my grief and find peace.” – Bereavement Navigation Service client
How do I access the Bereavement Navigation Service?
This free statewide service is available Monday to Friday, 9am to 5pm:
The Bereavement Navigation Service is part of Palliative Care Connect, which provides information and links to palliative care and bereavement supports in SA. The pilot is funded by the Australian Government Department of Health, Disability and Ageing with support from SA Health.
Self assessment tool will help guide you
Call 1-800-725-548 (PALLI8), Monday to Friday from 08:30 am to 04:00 pm. You can request a call back by filling out our call back form.
Page updated 7 September 2026
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